I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
