I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
