When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize