If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I got inside last night via doggy door
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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