In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
