Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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