Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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