You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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