He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
