So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
