Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
