playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
