She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
