Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
