we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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