Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
