3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
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