I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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