I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
