Already got asked if we're dating
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
