and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
