i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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