We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
