I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
