Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Randomize
