hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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