We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
