Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
