Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
When are your genitals available?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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