You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
