I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
