do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
