It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
