He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
