singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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