Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I wish i was in the wii world.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
