Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Is Oprah even human
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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