I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
