I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
