What a fucking waste of an outfit
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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