Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
