Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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