can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
