well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
one might say we're banned from that church
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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