The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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