A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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