so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
