Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
