508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
