i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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