If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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