Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
