I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
