I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
